What is the appeal of BDSM?
You know, I had to really think about this one. Because some may argue that the popularity of 50 Shades of Gray gave a voice and life to this taboo genre of fiction. However, I have been reading best selling BDSM authors long before I had ever heard of 50 Shades of Gray. A great many women, some in the lifestyle, and a few that just found their writing niche in the genre. I have a theory. A very different theory than the masses have. I honestly believe that BDSM is popular because it is taboo and forbidden, you can’t just come out and announce when you are out with friends, “I like to be spanked and tied up during sex.”
Unless you really research the subject, your first impression of BDSM is what you see on Law and Order episodes where the sadist is some crazy rich guy keeping women prisoner in his fully equipped dungeon, hidden behind a secret door in his 5th Avenue apartment. (The funny thing is some women would argue that this is a fantasy to some.) However, there are many different degrees of control, and many different levels in which a submissive lets go. Not everyone enjoys pain, humiliation, and what some would call-- the darker side of BDSM. I don’t think it’s darker, only because I am a masochist and I need to be fully controlled in order to enjoy it. I have to be brought down to a pleasure slave level to feel a total liberation.
Not everyone needs or wants to go that far. Hell, I didn’t at first. When I first realized that I wanted to be humiliated during play, I panicked and hid it from my husband for a good month. I was moody, on edge, and in a state of anxiety till finally he sat me down to ask what was wrong. I had refused all scene play till I could sort out what it would mean for us, with me needing to go that deep with my submission. Well, this is where communication is key and where I messed up as the submissive in the relationship. I didn’t talk to my husband. He was very receptive and very willing to stretch the hard limits further with our play and see how much I really needed. Turns out, that if it was possible, I would be entirely receptive to full time play, but with a small child, that is just not going to happen.
Some people want a little edge in the bedroom. Some of us need a deeper, heady places to go to. It doesn’t have to be about a tortured past. I grew up in a perfectly normal home, two parents, brothers, in a nice California suburban town. I have no past experience that would make a therapist believe I had some internal issue. I simply need to let go totally and completely.
At the end of the day, we are all very different animals. We are creatures of habit and we are beasts that need to be fed different things. None of it makes us wrong. How much D/s play we need doesn’t make us less submissive or dominant. Just be sure that if you do head into deeper play, that you are safe, sane, and consensual! At the end of the day, you have to come away from your intimacy happy, not damaged.
Bondage on the 4th of July is now Available!
Millie Newton has been in love with her neighbor and best friend, Brad Cooper for as long as she can remember. She harbored a secret crush for years, hoping for the one chance with him. It was stolen from her when he enlisted in the Marines, and was sent away. The last time he was home on leave she missed him. This time, at the 4th of July block party she knows it is her chance to get what she wants. Only a surprise has come along with Brad, his buddy, Kenny Willet. She has no clue that Brad is a Dominant in the BDSM scene in Chicago, and Kenny is a Sexual Sadist. Millie simply decides its time. When Brad and Kenny decide they want her together, fireworks erupt in a 4th of July spectacular that none of them anticipated.
The voice slid over her flesh like wet silk--cool, damp, but altogether appealing when confronted with it. Her fingers wiggled, tiny tremors took over her body and her phone slipped right from her hands into the grass. Millie hadn’t looked up yet. Her throat contracted to get rid of the abundance of saliva that filled her mouth. Her gaze shifted to see the large, callused hands that picked up her phone before disappearing from sight. Visibly shaken by his sudden appearance, she gave herself a firm mental reprimand, and allowed her gaze to travel up his body. His jeans encased firm things, a tight t-shirt covered steel like abs, and broad shoulders that could keep her safe for the rest of her life. Finally, her eyes locked with his. The devastating smile that decorated his masculine features made her want to sigh like some virgin in a Harlequin novel. He was perfect. For her, he was everything she wanted in a man, and that would never change. To be with any other man would be settling for second best. She didn’t want to settle. She wanted him, and this time around she would have him.
Get it together, Millie.
Pressing her lips together, and rising from her chair, she launched herself at Brad. He caught her easily, with a deep, rolling chuckle that made her heart beat faster, and wetness to seep between the now swelling slit between her legs. It was so much, it was overload, and she could feel her skin start to heat with a blush. His thick arms wrapped around her back and waist and she buried her face in his shoulder.
“I’m missed you, dummy.” She nearly purred against the bare flesh of his neck.
“Missed you too, kid.”
It was like ice water between her legs.
She wanted to scream, cry, and then punch him in the face. Her nipples were like hard pebbles poking through her tank top and against his chest, and he didn’t feel that? Kid? Her inner musings were shut down as he loosed his grip and started to slide her down his body. She avoided eye contact.
“I’m glad your home. Food is over there if you want any.”
She was abrupt and wanted to get away to plan a new form of attack. Maybe she needed to change into a skirt with no panties.
God, you’re not a slut, Millie.
No, she wasn’t. But she had seen him laughing and flirting with those other girls from the neighborhood, and they were all in micro minis and tube tops. She was the cute girl next door with shorts and a tank top.
“Hey, buddy, aren’t you going to introduce me to the infamous best friend.”
You can buy Bondage on the 4th of July at:
*Coming Soon to Amazon and Barnes and Noble*
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